The Daycare of Doom: The Akatsuki Daycare
by ACryForHelp
Summary: Not sure if already done or not, but whatever. Includes not making sense, breaks in the 4th wall, chaos, and little toddlers of terror
1. An encounter with Fate

I DON'T OWN NARUTO, THE AKATSUKI, OR ANY OF THIS EXCEPT MY IDEA.

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><p>Sitting at his desk, Pain was doing nothing in particular. That is, until a tall, shadow-like figure walked in.<p>

"Knocking would be appreciated." He growled at the figure, which in return, ignored him.

He stood up, pointed to the door, and as kindly as he could (which consisted of talking through gritted teeth), commanded it to leave. It didn't. Now frustrated, he was glaring at the figure and planning its horrible, imminent death. The figure stood almost as tall as he, but showed no visible features. It crossed its arms and stared back at Pain. (No word on who won the staring contest)

"Rude, are we?"

Pain didn't reply.

"Pain, I'm going to be truthful here. You're bad. You've been a bad person. On Santa's naughty list bad. Just stating the obvious."

To say the least, Pain was not impressed. Nor was he going to take this, so he went ahead as follows:

"I think you've said enough, so you can leav-"

"No." (Assertive, were we?) "I've been sent here to fix something." The figure waited a second, hoping he'd get the hint. It sighed.

"I'm here to fix you. Well, not you, but… Whatever. Sleep well…." [Remember kids! Stay away from the chloroform *Shot*]

And with that Pain was on the floor, leaving a perfect opportunity for blackmail.

~Time Skip! (Let's do the time warp again*! What, no? Everybody's a critic) ~

When he awoke, nothing seemed to have changed. Except for maybe, I don't know, the fact that there were now nine (Super cute in his opinion, but not willing to openly admit that) toddlers now staring at him with all the interest in the world.

"What the He-"

"Don't you know not to cuss in front of children?" It was none other than the figure (A.K.A. Fate).

It shook its head disapprovingly.

"As I was saying earlier, you've been bad. I can't fix the pit in your heart, but you can fix what you've made others. Have fun."

And with that, Fate was on its merry way to go off and deliver more bad news.

Pain stood up and looked at the children, and for the first time in his life, looked like he had no clue whatsoever as to what was going on. So-

***Record Needle Scratch***

"Really? What the hell, Kaida, this doesn't even make sense!"

The narrator glared at him.

"Just go with it."

He started to argue back.

"GO WITH IT!"

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><p>And so ends the first chapter. Hope you had fun with it, please review (is on knees begging) and continue reading. Feel free to message me about ideas for stories, but I usually only do horror and comedy.<p>

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><p>* Rocky Horror Picture Show reference. I do not own RHPS.<p>

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><p>~ $74¥ 4w3$0m3 ~<p> 


	2. The Chaos Begins

Hey guys, sorry it took forever to update. I have school. And books to read. And a life. So yeah, here's the next chapter and stuff…. Have fun! But first, a few words:

**StellaMarris**- THANK YOU!

**Metal Butter- **No need to go caps lock on me! Thanks for reviewing first, but I can't always update that quickly. (See above comment) I'm not a printing press. I'll try to write longer chapters, but I can't guarantee it.

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><p>~I don't own Naruto, The Akatsuki, or any of this except for my idea!~<p>

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><p>Pein looked at the nine children. This could very easily end badly for him, and he wanted to just ignore them, but Fate wouldn't allow that. He looked at them.<p>

It was pretty easy to tell which was which, all of them having similar features to when they were older. But for those wondering, here's what they looked like:

Deidara had a mess of blond hair and huge blue eyes. Most of his hair was in his face, covering his left eye. On his hands, little smiles were scrawled on his palms in red marker.

Hidan had a sort of glare in his purple eyes. Even as a child, he seemed pissed. Around his neck, a small chain necklace hung. He held it protectively.

Kakuzu had short black hair. The stitches still covered parts of his skin, but they appeared to be smaller He was trying to pickpocket the others.

Kismae's skin was still blue, but a slightly lighter tone. There were little gills on the sides of his face. He sported a spiky tooth grin. He was a bit taller than the other children around him.

Konan sat with a small smile on her face, absorbed in playing with a paper bird. Her blue hair was shorter than it was, but still held in a small bun.

Sasori looked unamused. He had a mop of ginger hair and a blank expression. He was playing with a little puppet.

Itachi had his eyes closed, apparently trying to ignore the others. The lines on his face were a bit lighter, but could still be seen. His hair was held back in a ponytail, with a small bit hanging by the sides of his face.

Tobi had the spikiest hair Pein had ever seen on a child. He was covering his face playfully, and giggling. He seemed to be clinging to Deidara.

Zetsu still had his two halves. They kept poking each other, making the black half annoyed. There were little vines surrounding him, as the Venus flytrap had also become younger.

They all wore small cloaks, basically making all of them miniature versions of themselves.

Pein shook his head as to clear his thoughts. 'It couldn't be _that_ bad' he thought. Just a second later, Tobi proved him wrong.

**"SAMA-CHAN!"**

Pein stared at the child. This was going to be a long, hard time for him. Hell would sooner freeze over than for this to be easy for him.

**"SAMA-CHAN!"** Tobi repeated, yelling at the top of his little three year old lungs. He was toddling over to Pein, tugging on his sleeve.

"What is it?" Pein tried to be calm, but this was hard for him. He ended up scaring the poor child. This said poor child burst into tears.

"SAMA MADE TOBI SAD!" He was crying, which caused a chain reaction.

Translation= nine crying children.

Translation= Pein being annoyed very easily.

With all the crying children, Pein put his head in his hands, frustrated with the situation. '_This_ is not good…'

He would have trouble taking care of them, much less just dealing with them. He needed help. (GASP! Pein, Need help? It's a sign of the apocalypse!)

He got up, walked around the sprinklers of children, and picked up a phone book.

All around him, the children kept crying, some of them clinging to him, others huddled up into little balls, but all of them equally annoying. He tried to ignore them, but this task was not easy. Flipping through the pages of the phone book, he took deep breaths trying to calm himself. On the lower half of the room, things went as follows:

Tobi was clinging to Deidara, both of them crying. Tobi went on about how "Sama was a meanie" while Deidara just wailed about wanting his "Boom boom".

Hidan was biting Pein's leg (Which he ignored) and threw his own personal fit.

Kisame was trying to calm down, occasionally sniffling.

Sasori was going on to his puppet about all his problems, and got mad at the fact that it was ignoring him. They sat in opposite corners of the room, ignoring each other.

Kakuzu cried about how people had stolen from him. He kept repeating this statement to show his point.

Konan was hugging Pein's leg, sniffling and looking up at him.

Itachi wasn't crying. He held his hands over his ears and tried to ignore everyone else. After getting annoyed that this didn't help, he went on to try to get Kisame to calm down.

Zetsu was…. Let's just leave that to complicated. (O.o One can only imagine…)

Pein was flipping through the phonebook frantically now, stopping when he found the section he was looking for. The top of the page was labeled: **BABYSITTERS**

He would need the help.

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><p>Wow! Look at all the stuff that happened! If anyone has idea for the story, feel free to tell me! And I need ideas for the babysitter character, so feel free to tell me ideas!<p>

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><p>574Y 4w350M3!<p> 


	3. Sunshine Babysitting

Sorry it took FOREVER to up load, I had semester exams and holiday break and etc. etc.

~I don't own!~

Thank you to my great friend VeganVampy for reveiwing. You know, the **ONLY **review? Review, people.

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><p>Pein (Pain? I don't know. Whatever.) finally found the section. He didn't really care as to who it was as long as SOMEONE would take care of the chibis for him. So, he called the first number under the section.<p>

*Ring, Ring*

"Hello, Sunshine Baby Sitting!"

_Oh God, I'm going to puke. . . _ But instead, what came out was:

"Yes?"

"Uhm, sir?

"What is it?"

"You're supposed to answer. . . Not me."

"You didn't ask a question."

"Well. . . Why did you call?"

"Why do you think?"

The phone hang up. All while nine toddlers continued screaming.

*Ring, Ring*

"Hello, Sunshi-"

"I know."

"Oh, its you." She was annoyed.

"Listen, there are kids everywhere. Please just come to [Secret Location so that the Akatsuki doesn't get overrun by fangirls]."

"That isn't within the rules, sir-"

"Do you need the job?" Now he was annoyed.

"*Sigh* I'll be there by noon."

He hung up, his job done. How would he be able to take over the world if a miniature Akatsuki were running rampant?

And in the next moment, Deidara was pulling at his sleeve, Tobi clinging at his side. Deidara had a sort of pained look on his face.

"Deidei needs to pee."

". . . . ."

"DEIDEI NEEDS TO PEEEEEEEE!"

_And how did this kid ever grow up to be in the Akatsuki. . ? Shoot me now._

"OK! Fine, I get it! Just shut up alre-"

Deidara had tears welling up in his eyes.

_No no no no no no no no no!_

He picked the child up and started rocking him, trying to get him to calm down. The others crowded around his feet.

"Does Sama love him more?" (Kisame)

"TOBI NEXT!" (Tobi)

"I hate you." (Hidan)

"Be quiet, I have a head hurt!" (Itachi)

"Please be quiet." (Pain)

"Kiss my ass!" (Hidan)

"Shut up." (Sasori)

"You're annoying." (Kakuzu)

"Fine!" (Hidan)

"Why are you loud?" (Itachi)

"I'm tired. . . " (Konan)

"**Sounds like it's somebody's nap time**. But I'm not tired!" (Zetsu)

"I'm sleepy too. . . " (Kisame)

"Then be sleepy." (Sasori)

"Night, night." (Itachi)

Itachi, Konan and Kisame fell asleep in the middle of the floor.

*DING DONG!*

"Since when did we have a door bell?"

"HELLO?"

He opened the door. There was a girl of about 19. She was kind of short, and looked like she had stepped out of a Tim Burton movie. Leather, buckles, that fancy sort. Even enought piercings to rival his own.

_Sunshine? Yeah, right._

"And the business is called. . . ?"

"I needed a job."

"OK. What's you're name?"

"Amy."

"You're hired."

"You see I had to- WHAT!"

"Yeah."

"No questions?"

"Fine. Do you have any experience?"

"No." Plain and simple.

"Good. You're hired."

They sat there staring at each other. She peered over his shoulder.

"Are all those kids. . . ?"

"No."

And suddenly, a little voice whimpered from Pain's arms.

"DeiDei doesn't need to pee any more."

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><p>Stay Awesome, people. Review. Please. I can't write if you don't help.<p>

Again, thanks. This time to Kaede (My sister) for her help and my three year old cousin Skyler for inspiration.

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><p>REVIEW OR I SICK A BABY DEI ON YOU!<p> 


	4. Amy meets the kids!

Hey, Everyone! Thank you for reviewing! From now on, you'll be hearing a new name around here: Hikaru. She's my sister and co-writer. So, there'll be a lot more words! Isn't that exciting? *Crickets* ISN'T THAT EXCITING? *Loud applause*

Note from Hikaru: Hey peeps! You better like it. And, you know Sasori? He's MINE!

Back to Kaida: This next bit is for those reviewers out there that took time to fully appreciate the story. :)

**xLL-Ax, **I know, I made a typo. I'm not perfect, but I can try to be pretty damn close!

**HeartsNaruto,** I know what you mean! Every time I try to write, it just makes me want them more.

**VeganVampy**,you didn't even bother to sign in. -.- But thanks.

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><p><strong>Any society that needs disclaimers has too many lawyers<strong>

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><p>Pain looked, well. . . pained. His eyes went wide (There were more circles in the Rinnegan than you thought) and he almost dropped the poor child. Amy grabbed Deidara out of Pain's hands and glared at him.<p>

"You're an idiot. Don't you know how to at least _hold _a child?"

She balanced him on her hip and looked at the other children. There were alot of them. Like, 5 billion. Maybe less. Okay, more like eight others. Whatever. It was still a lot of kids.

"If these aren't your kids, how'd you end up with them all?"

Pain's mind status: _Think of something. Quick. Now. Why'd she have to ask?_

Amy's mind status: _Dude. You smuggling babies or something?_

He couldn't even open his mouth to answer. Once again, a voice just_ had _to pipe in, but this time it was Konan's, still half asleep as she stumbled over to him.

"Painie!"

He looked down to see the little girl wrapped tightly around his leg. She looked up pitifully at him.

"She's so cute."

Amy crouched down to look at Konan. Konan shrunk back, burying herself in Pein's robe. Amy stood back up and walked towards the other children, still holding Deidara. (H/N DeiDei! Not as cute as Sasori!) (K/N We **ALL **now that little Zetsu is cuter!) (H/N Sasori's Cuter. . .er!) (K/N Yeah, right. Keep telling yourself that.)

And so the debate of who the cutest Akatsuki baby was until both were threatened with Jashinst sacrifice until they got back to work. But seriously, Zetsu's cuter.

"So...they have names, right?"

He pointed down to the girl clinging to his leg.

"That's Konan. She's the only girl."

_And she seems to be very attached to me._

Then he nodded towards Deidara, who had seemed to have taken a liking to Amy. Meaning, if he wasn't three, he'd be in trouble. (He had fallen asleep with his head leaning on her chest.) She payed no mind to him.

"That's Deidara. Keep him away from anything flammable."

"Why would I let a kid near fire?"

". . ."

"Well?"

"Just a precaution."

And fate was laughing at him. (K/N Thought you had heard the last of him? NEVER!)

He turned around to face the rest of the children, letting Amy past him into the room. This is what she saw:

There was a blue kid on the floor. Blue. He was kind of sprawled out, obviously asleep.

Next to him was a kid that actually looked human. He was curled up next to that blue kid, and truthfully, it was kind of cute. (K/N I'm a ItaKisa fan!) He had black hair and looked like he had gotten into some markers, judging by the lines on his face.

"Who are those two?"

"Which ones?"

She had a blank expression.

"The ones with wings. No, you idiot! The ones I'm pointing at!"

". . . " He _obviously _had never been talked to this way before. He kind of was mad (only a little) and kind of had that sweatdrop thing going on. She pointed at them.

"Oh. Itachi and Kisame. Kisame is the blue one. Don't look into Itachi's eyes."

Even though he was a kid, you could never be sure. He didn't want to have to find a new babysitter and go through all of that again. Besides, without a grown Zetsu, disposing of the body would be difficult.

While he was at it, he went ahead and introduced the others.

"Kakuzu, Sasori, Tobi. . ." In that order, pointing at the respective children.

Looking around, he was unable to find the other two. (Zetsu and Hidan)

"Uhm. . . Dude?"

"What?"

"Get this kid off me."

Hidan was found looking up at Amy. He poked her leg, and then proceeded to bite her.

". . . "

"Distract him or something!"

"Fine, fine. . . "

He left the room and came back with a piece of paper and a few pens, then dropping them on the floor.

"Better?"

"Stand on the circle, Bitch."

_Really, Hidan?_

Apparently he had drawn a Jashinist symbol and was intent on sacrificing her. And he was three. Three freaking years old. They grow up so fast. . .

And Fate glared down.

_**"No."**_

And Pein quickly took away the paper.

"Sacrificing people is bad, Hidan. BAD."

Hidan kicked Pein's free leg (As in not occupied by Konan) and walked away grumbling:

"Stupid f***ing meanie butt Ginger. . ."

And Amy looked on in awe and shock, not knowing a kid of this age could have a um. . . um. . . a _colorful _vocabulary of this sorts.

"Hey. . . Where's that other kid? I could've sworn there was one more when I walked in."

And the plant in the corner yawned.

"O.o . . ."

"Oh. Zetsu's awake. You can see him if you want."

He pointed at the corner Zetsu currently occupied. He would have led her there, but he was anchored in place by Konan.

"**Hidan!** You woke us up. . ."

He pouted and sunk lower into the flower pot he was hiding in. (K/N HE'S SOOOO ADORABLEEE!) (H/K Fine, fine. . . he's a little cute.) (K/N HA!) (H/N Shut up. . . He's still not competition compared to Sasori.) (K/N I'm dropping this till when we're NOT writing a story.)

"How does he fit in there with all those plants?"

He sighed and picked Konan up, who personally enjoyed this.

"They aren't plants."

". . . What?"

He led her to the corner, and looking down, two yellow eyes peered up accompanied with a sharp toothed smile.

"**Who are you?** Be quiet, I'm sleepy. . . **Shuuuush! There's people!** But. . . Aw..."

Amy looked down confusedly. (NEW WORD ALERT!)

"He's-"

"I know."

She walked away, trying to forget the (H/N Special.) (K/N I'm not using 'special'.) (H/N Biodegradable.) (K/N You're mean, Puppet girl.) (H/N Plant food.)incident, which was not special in any way whatsoever.

She sat on the couch, trying to comprehend it all.

_/Mind Hack Subject: Amy : So many kids. . . Oh my god. _

And she had clue what she had gotten herself into.

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><p>Long enough?<p>

A few notes: I (Kaida, main writer) have decided that there is a lack of reviews. So, I have a deal:** If I get ten** **reviews on this chapter, I'll wear an Akatsuki cloak to school.** I will. I'm that desperate. Also, I wanted an excuse to wear it in public. :)

Now, I wouldn't do this alone. Hikaru has decided that if we reach the ten mark,** she'll end every sentence with 'Believe it.'** It'll probably get really annoying but. . . whatever.

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><p>Stay Awesome, People!<p> 


	5. Mini Mass Destruction

NEW CHAPTER! Special thanks to **HeartsNaruto and VeganVampy **for reviewing. You get a cookie. Yay!

-. .- .-. ..- - - / -.. - . ... / -. - - / -... . .-.. - -. -. / - - / - . .-.-.- / .. / .- .. ... ... / .. - / -.. .. -.. .-.-.- / - .- -.- -... . / .- ..- ... - / ... .. -.. .- -. / .- -. -.. / -.. . - ... ..- .-.-.- / -... ..- - / .. / -.. - -. .-. - .-.-.- / ... - / -.. - -. .-. - / ... ..- . / - . .-.-.-

By the way, the disclaimer is in Morse code. :)

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><p><em>Oh my freaking God, what have I gotten myself into?<em>

Amy looked down at Deidara sleeping in her lap as she sat on the couch, taking everything in. She had taken care of her younger siblings, but nine kids? She could barely keep a hold of the two back at home. She still worried about them from time to time. Ever since her Mom died, everything had gone downhill. She basically raised her brother and sister on her own, and had to take up a babysitting job just to support them. So here she was.

She softly smiled as the little blonde stirred in his sleep.

"Katsu . . . "

He mumbled in his sleep, and somewhere off, something blew up. Let's pretend there was no explosion for the sake of the story, mmkay? Kay.

Pain had left the room with Konan asleep in his arms to put her to bed. He had noticed that she had become very attached to him lately. Only the little girl knew why. (H/N Awwww. . . I think she likes him!) (K/N No, really?) (H/N NO SPOILERS!) (K/N Back to Amy, people.)

By this time, Sasori, Tobi and Kakuzu had gathered at her feet and stared up at her. The others were either asleep or playing with something . . . probably air. Or whatever it is babies find to play with. Anyways, as they looked up at her, some things went through their minds:

_Tobi: Girl-Chan! Is Girl-chan nice? I think Girl-chan and Tobi can be friends!_

_Kakuzu: She's taking care of us? She better be nice. _

_Sasori: Who is this? Will she play with me? Maybe she has a puppet we can play with!_

And what came out was:

"GIRL-CHAN! Me Tobi!"

". . . " Kakuzu just held out his hand expectantly.

Sasori looked down at the small puppet he held in his hands and looked back up at Amy.

"Play with me?"

Amy softly grinned.

"Sure."

She picked up the small ginger, moving the sleeping Deidara to an empty spot on the couch. Sasori held up the puppet and looked at her.

_This kid plays with dolls? Whatever makes him happy._

Kakuzu had wandered off to pester the others while Tobi kept persistently tugging at the bottoms of her pants.

"Play with Tobi too!"

Sighing, she hoisted the little kid onto the couch next to Sasori. The two looked at each other. Sasori blinked. Tobi blinked.

". . ."

Amy had no clue what this was supposed to mean.

Tobi went on to poke Sasori, which resulted in the curious toddler being glared at.

"No, brat. She's gonna play with me!"

"But. . .but. . . but. . ."

"I was here first!"

"But. . . Tobi wants to play!"

Not wanting a full-out crying fest, Amy interrupted.

"Guys. We can play together. Is that okay?"

Sasori looked at Amy and then Tobi. Looking back up at her, he nodded. Tobi did the same. Even with the little experience she had, she could keep the two from fighting. It was a skill she had picked up from dealing with her younger siblings.

She picked up the two and then moved to sit on the floor. Deidara, Itachi and Kisame slept. Kakuzu and Hidan glared at each other. Zetsu was content sitting in the flower pot. It was enough peace to let her focus on the two for the moment.

They sat opposite of each other. It kind of looked like they were having a staring contest.

"Hi, Sasori!"

"Hi."

Sasori wasn't amused with Tobi's attempt at conversing, so he just got up and sat closer to Amy. Tobi, of course, had to be a part of it and felt left out. He scooted closer to Amy, leaned over, and poked Sasori. Sasori glanced over, unmoved by this gesture. Tobi poked him again. It went on like this for awhile.

It eventually got to the point where Sasori had gotten annoyed. His hand raised by microns, and Tobi toppled over, face first into the floor. Behind him stood Sasori's 'doll', chakra strings attached from it to Sasori's hand. Amy stared at him, and then grabbed the puppet so it couldn't hurt Tobi. The puppet struggled, but she held onto it. Standing up with puppet in hand, she went to find Pain, Leaving Sasori longing for his puppet.

_*Time skip because wandering around the Base looking for Pain's office is boring!*_

Knocking on the door, she still held the puppet, now hanging limp in her hands. In his office, Pain looked up.

"Come in."

She opened the door to find him staring at the ceiling. (He had been silently telling fate off.) Konan slept silently on the couch because she had refused to be separated from him. Amy stepped forward and placed the puppet on the desk.

"What's this?"

"Some _toy _(She put emphasis and sarcasm on that word) you let Sasori play with!"

He glanced down at the puppet.

"That's not a toy."

"I could tell that!"

Amy was now in sarcasm mode. Pain didn't know this.

"It's actually a puppet. By using chakra threads, he's able to-"

"I know that!"

". . . Then why did you call it a toy?"

Amy growled and stormed out of the room, leaving the puppet on his desk.

_*Amy wandering blindly around the base. You know what that means? The kids are left alone while she gets lost!*_

_I'm sorry, but I can't let you do that. _

What?

_Leaving children alone is bad._

But I'm the author!

_And I'm fate._

O.o . . . . But you're a fictional character in the story.

_The fourth wall can't protect you._

. . . I'm going to ignore that and get back to the story now.

*In the living room*

Sasori sat in a lump, pouting. Tobi came over and poked him. _Hint: Bad move._ Sasori tried to punch Tobi, but ended up just falling through him. Tobi laughed at the fact he could still use the phasing jutsu. Sasori glared at him and was about to attack, but Kakuzu got in the way and ended up falling on him.

"Brat!"

"Not now!" He scrambled to his feet and kept on running from a very pissed off Hidan.

"Give it baaaaaaack!"

Kakuzu had stolen his necklace, causing full-on warfare between the two. Tobi thought this was all for fun, and joined Hidan in chasing Kakuzu. Sasori was chasing Tobi.

While all of this was going on, Kakuzu had managed to knock over the pot Zetsu had been sleeping in. He crawled out of the flower pot and slowly stood up.

"**I told you guys to shush!**"

The white half had somehow managed to still be asleep, even with the chaos surrounding him. He (The black half) looked around and sighed. He sat in the corner and decided to stay out of it for the moment being.

Kakuzu ran away from everyone, wondering what he did to tick everyone else off. Hidan had a reason, but Tobi and Sasori weren't a part of this. Or were they. . .? (Insert thinking pose here)

Tobi being Tobi got distracted and stopped, not realizing that physics would keep the others in motion. Sasori fell _though _Tobi, crashing into Hidan, who pummeled into Kakuzu, landing them all in a pile on top of Kisame and Itachi, causing the two to wake up.

"GET OFF ME!"

Kisame did not like being woken up, as he rarely got any sleep.

Itachi also disliked this, but because of the noise. His eyes flashed red, causing Hidan to get caught in the genjutsu, which just happened to be Hidan's worst nightmare. Nightmare being a peaceful village where he was unable to sacrifice anybody and teddy bears were trying to hug him. No word on how this turned out. All that is known is that the Author has been added to Hidan's 'To Die' list.

Kisame pushed everyone off and proceeded to slap those who had woken him up. Tobi burst out into tears and made his way over to the couch to tell the (still sleeping) Deidara about how Kisame had made him cry. Kisame and Kakuzu had now gotten into an argument, which Sasori had found highly amusing.

The white half of Zetsu had woken up due to the noise, and was still somewhat sleepy, meaning he was confused.

"What's going on? **A fight.** Are we part of it? **No. **Oh. Okay. . . What's with Hidan? **Itachi got mad." **

The black half pointed to the little Jashinist bawling in the middle of the floor. Zetsu felt somewhat sympathetic, so he went over to Itachi.

"**Why?**"

"He woke me up."

"So? **They woke us up.**"

Itachi finally broke his jutsu and went to help Kisame in his argument. Hidan was still in the fetal position, rocking back and forth and whimpering.

Before Itachi could say a single word, Kisame was sick of the fight. And suddenly, there was water everywhere, Kakuzu being the victim.

Kisame's rain upon the room woke up Deidara, who immediately pushed Tobi off of him and onto the floor.

"Go away, un." He crossed his arms and glared at Tobi.

Tobi went to go sit alone in the corner, sad and depressed.

Kakuzu had finally figured it out that it wasn't worth it, and threw the Jashinist necklace back at Hidan, hitting him on the head, which caused him to snap out of his mental torture.

He caught the pendant and smiled, but glared at Kakuzu.

"About time, you bastard!"

Kakuzu ignored this comment.

By the way, here's what the room looked like:

There was water. EVERYWHERE. Blame Kisame.

Zetsu's flower pot was broken, broken, all broken!* He held the pieces in his hands and remembered all their fond memories together, good and bad. . . It had never threatened to stab him.** Oh well. Back to the story.

The couch had bite marks in it, and one of the cushions was on the floor, stuffing everywhere.

Some of the walls had been burned from Deidara's sleep talking.

And on the other side of the base, Amy was starting to figure out where she was going. She walked in the room and. . .

* * *

><p>*Lenore the Cute Little Dead Girl<p>

** Portal

^ I don't own these! ^

* * *

><p>What does she find? We may never know! Okay, I know, but YOU don't. Take a guess, people! By the way, this is the longest chapter yet! If you have any ideas, tell meus.

Speaking of reviews, we never hit the ten mark, so we kept our otakuness to ourselves. We might do something like this again, but it'll be a while. Sorry if you missed that chance.

PLEASE REVIEW! Please. I'd beg, but I happen to like my dignity. Seriously. If you don't review, my head will explode. I can't write if I've exploded.

* * *

><p>Once again, stay awesome.<p> 


	6. I need your help

Alice here. (Kaida if you're not aware of my actual name.)

As you can tell, this story has been at a standstill for a while.

I never really meant to go on hiatus, but if I show you the reasons, I'm sure you'll understand:

-Late January, I learned that my dad had thyroid cancer. This put a huge amount of stress on my family. I needed to be there with him, and I wasn't going to write with something this serious to deal with. Since then though, he has gotten better.

-My grades have plummeted severely. I went from a National Junior Honor Society straight A student to a barely passing nothing. I'm sure you can understand why I wanted to get back on track.

-My medical habits (I don't know what else to call it) have been horrible lately. My ADHD and depression had hit dramatic highs, and it took a while to get that under control. Aside from that, I've started having what I can only describe as tics. I'm hoping that this doesn't go into something more serious.

-Self-esteem. I've been in a dark place on the inside, mask on the outside for a while now. I just got over one of the hardest things in my life- Letting go. Sometimes, people are meant only to be friends. I finally got that message through to myself.

So you can see that life has been hard. I've tried to pick up writing again, but I have no clue where to start.

I need ideas.


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